


strive to find the heavens (we've got to walk through hell)

by Embersofthefrosts



Series: Stuff I started and was super inspired for then never actually did anything with [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Agender Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, British Kingston Brothers, Deceit is called Decimus in this, Decimus and Roman are brothers, Genderfluid Dr. Emile Picani, Human AU, M/M, Polyamory Relationship, Red String of Fate, Remy and Virgil are best buddies, Remy's Half Thai, Soulmate AU, has been beta read, thank god for my friends, the norm is to only see your own string
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-01 11:29:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Embersofthefrosts/pseuds/Embersofthefrosts
Summary: Virgil didn't experience the world in the same way anybody else did. He was a one time case.He was an anxious boy with an unseen condition and an urge to have a place, a job to do.So he will try to help people, as that's the best he could do.Right?





	1. no way i'm stopping (its like nobody's watching)

 

Apparently, it wasn’t normal to see everyone’s soulmate strings. You were only allowed to see yours. At least, that’s how it was for everyone else.

 

Virgil Thorne was 15 and within a small coffee shop when blinked and his Sight was unlocked to see hundreds of slightly transparent red strings lacing the streets and through walls outside of the café he was in.

A shocked mind struggled to comprehend as his eyes raced around the square, eyes following strings to see them tied around fingers.

 

The flabbergasted look on his face drew knowing and sympathetic looks from strangers and in turn, his shoulders picked up and hunched on himself.

 

_Something’s not right._

 

A quick glance down at his hand confirmed his answer. There was no string leading from his ring finger to somewhere in the world. Just his hand, untouched by his own link to someone.

 

His return home was spent looking around at every person, seeing some strings lead straight through the ground to another place. Others, impossibly near with a child in tow; the obviously married couples.

 

When he confided in his mother, he was examined closely under her eye.

 

“You aren’t pulling my leg, are you, Virgil?”

 

Frantic shaking of his head deepened the frown on her face. “And you’re sure you can't see you're own string?”

 

His lowered head raised to meet her eyes, face conveying his message as clearly as it needed to be said.

 

“My poor boy... We’ll go somewhere to see if they can help. Leelawadee, you know my friend, apparently her son is one of those soulmate therapists. Maybe we’ll get a thing booked for you there?”

 

A sigh.

 

“I’ll go.”

 

Virgil’s first session with Remy was... a new experience, if you could call it that.

 

The extravagant half-Asian man was bold and quite frankly, rather shocking.

Virgil continued to have sessions with him a few more times, often just fading to a casual conversation.

 

But it wasn’t too long before Virgil was sure he had no soulmate on the planet and soon any other hope diminished after that.

 

He frequented Remy’s office often, maybe no longer for sessions but just to talk and tell tales of hilarious obliviousness and strings yet to be seen by the owners of them.

 

This, of course, often helped Remy in his job and Virgil soon found himself a part-time job sitting in with some therapists sessions as an assistant, often seeing smaller details.

 

Virgil learnt to pick up subtle clues of people. Some took comfort in the thread, others subtlety and not-so-subtlety following where their strings lead.

 

He learnt the colour patterns of the string and he learnt the actions they did. He studied the people around him as a hobby.

 

Virgil knew his curse and while he resented it, he could not deny that he could help many people meet the love of their life. He had a chance, just once, to help people and improve their lives; to bring them happiness where they might’ve been lonely. He had a curse, yes, but he could do good and so good he would do. That was his job to do and he watched united couples smile with the brightness that they had not possessed before. He helped that; he did that. And that satisfaction filled the hole in his heart.

 

Well, mostly, anyway.

  


It was a late afternoon in the spring which Remy came up with the idea of trying to touch and maybe even manipulate the strings.

 

Obviously, Virgil wasn’t fond of the idea and refused to even think about it for a good two weeks. Well... He refused to acknowledge that he had thought about it.

 

_But what of the possibilities? What of the problematic and toxic relationships that could be fixed? What about the endless searchers who wish to find their true love?_

 

Virgil entered the office, donning the uniform of his crisp cream shirt and pale grey slacks.

“สวัสดีตอนเช้าครับ*,” the familiar voice greeted in his mother’s tongue.

 

“Remy. I goddamn- I wish so, _so_ goddamn much that you hadn’t said anything two weeks ago.”

 

It took some convincing afterwards and a long, long thought afterwards, before Virgil finally caved.

 

“Gurl, I don’t get why you’re worrying so much. It’s not like you’ll be working with some rando. It’s gonna be my string hun, and Em is totally aware of what will be goin’ on!”

 

“Yeah, but what if things go wrong and I end up breaking your connection?”

 

“Then we’ll fix it.”

 

“Then no. _No way_.”

 

“Hun, I’m _joking_. Emile and I will always be together, no matter what. Just ‘cuz we weren’t soulmates by some silly ‘string of fate’ anymore doesn’t mean we’d ditch each other like that. It's not like we owe our loyalty to anyone else, either.”

 

Finally, Virgil gave in to the suggestion but wanted to prepare himself; it was something he wanted to take his time over.

 

At first, Virgil had meditated to settle his mind. He wanted to be as calm as he could, and so stilled his almost always racing brain. Tentative hands reached out, and as he thought, Virgil’s hand passed through the thread as if it were not there.

 

After more tries still resulting in empty hands, Virgil shook his head.

 

“It’s not working.”

 

“So? You should know better than to give up on me, Virge! You know how patient I am—oh don’t give me that look— and I know you do. Just, like, relax, m’kay hun?”

 

It took many, many tries over many days, but eventually the strings were guided into Virgil’s hands.

 

It took longer to grasp them with control but it wasn’t long before he was able to give a small tug on their heartstring. Lo and behold, later that day, Emile poked their head into the office after “an inexplicable urge to visit”.

 

Remy and Virgil were talking casually when waiting for their next patients.

Remy had his feet propped on the desk and was leaning back in his chair while Virgil lay on the sofa.

 

“Hey, hun, whatcha thinking of doin’ soon? You’re like, bloody 18 already. Or are ya gonna, like, stay here for the rest of your life? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but, you know?”

 

“Honestly, I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing with my life.”

 

“No ideas at all? Bitch please, I know you must have something you at least like to do, yeah?”

 

A pause settled in the office as Virgil thought.

 

“I don’t know? I just...”

 

“Virgil, please?”

 

“To be honest, I actually like helping people. I just want to do one thing and do my job well. Do you get it?”

 

Remy hummed.

 

“I mean, of course, you could be another soulmate therapist … But fuck that, you ain’t no bitch and you’re not gonna be stuck in some bullshit vanilla yoghurt lookin’ uniform for the rest of your life, no ma’am, no ma’am!”

 

“I know right! It’s like we’re at a fucking wedding, there’s so much white.”

A fit of laughter took hold of the two, a peaceful bubble only popped when there came a knock on the door.

 

“Don’t think you’ve gotten away from this convo, Virge.”

 

As it turns out, the idea Remy had come up with was almost like a dating service but it was to bring two soulmates together.

And surprisingly,  Virgil was not against the idea.

 

This was his chance to start a company; to get himself a purpose. An opportunity was there for him and all he had to do was close his hand around it.

Despite his nerves steadily building and ‘what if’s’ starting to appear, he gave one decisive nod.

“I’ll do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (*สวัสดีตอนเช้าครับ [Sawasdee Don Chao Krab] - (Hello) Good Morning )
> 
> So I guess that's the first chapter done! I've planned the next 5 chapters BUT theres more to plan. However, had to merge the first two chapters due to them being like only 500-600 words each and that's waayyyyy too short!  
> hopefully, I can keep up the inspiration to keep writing.  
> Anygay, thanks to my amazing beta readers Elbie and Jensen, my dear friends who helped me TONNES on Remy's dialogue. 
> 
> (the title of the fic is from Wild Wild World by Set It Off and he chapter title is from Lonely Dance by Set It Off)  
> all the titles will be from a Set It Off song :)
> 
> Anyways, Happy New Year! Hope everyone has an amazing 20-bi-teen!


	2. a game of pretend (why is it me they're after?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is bored, and so he goes walking.

It took a few months to set up the company, but Remy found a small unused office which would make a suitable area for while the company was small. 

He had taken to social media to advertise, and there was a notice on the front desk but no such luck in drawing in customers as most people could locate their soulmates by themselves and any others believed it was a scam, much like a fortune teller's tent at a fairground. 

 

It was a week after everything had been set up and Virgil found himself bored from a lack of customers. Of course, they would have needed to book most days which would leave him a chance to prepare himself and get over the inevitable swell of anxiety. But still, boredom overtook his actions, restless urging him to leave his office and stroll through the corridors of Sandbridge Soulmate Centre. 

He passed Emile’s room, the colourful decorations and plush sofa housing many stuffed toys and cartoons standing out from the usual white decor in many of the other rooms.

 

There were 6 rooms in use for therapy and other similar activities; Emile’s, Remy’s and Delilah’s were all couple’s or psychological therapy, where Samirah’s and Aaron’s rooms were for couple and group bonding, such things like art therapy and them occasionally bringing in puppies and other animals to play with, among other things. And the final room was Virgil’s. An almost minimalistic but with a fair amount of items within. Virgil wasn’t allowed to repaint the room any colour that was dark but managed to convince the owner to repaint the room a pale blue, a needed splash of colour to every other room’s white or cream interior. He also furnished the room with a matching blue sofa and chair, the sofa occupying a space opposite his modern black desk while the chair was in the corner next to a small coffee table with a potted cactus. Along a wall next to the door stood a black and white checkered bookshelf housing [potted](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81n8dHpVX5L._SX425_.jpg) [plants](https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1fzBgMXXXXXbVaXXXq6xXFXXXe/Plant-Glass-Terrariums-Tabletop-Bottle-Garden-Creative-Glass-Gifts-Solder-Green-House-for-Sale.jpg) in geometric terrariums, various objects and fiddling toys to bring down stress levels and books which often held a weight of nostalgia. 

 

Virgil’s desk itself was a modern black desk in the shape of an L sectioning away a small area for Virgil. There were two stacks of 2 drawers and one long thin one above where there was space to sit. To one side of the desk sat a laptop which he realised was more for aesthetic and because he got bored than actually using during the session. Behind Virgil’s chair in the corner sat another book stand, only much more artistic, as if the shelves were folded into winding folds. The shelf held multiple self-therapy books, more cacti and one space for one contraption he was bought by his father. 

 

The contraption itself was called The Swinging Sticks and was a mesmerising object which reduced his stress, and he often had to move it to stop it distracting customers. 

 

Remy and Emile had been the main help in setting up his office, and in that time, Virgil learnt more about the two of them, like how Emile also went by Estelle on various days and the fact that Remy and Emile met by accident in a coffee shop one time, with Remy taking a part-time job as a barista in college. 

 

With nothing to do, Virgil was found wandering the halls and heading towards the reception, picking up a stray book from one of the waiting areas to make him seem less suspicious (despite him not being suspicious in the first place). Measured deliberate steps, not too fast, not too slow, just trying to get to the other corridor leading to other rooms without anyone looking at him weirdly. He held his head higher than usual, with Emile and Samirah both complaining to him about his slouched position. 

 

Only as he neared the exit did he actually start to tune into the conversation that was happening at the front desk, as one man steadily grew more agitated with the minute.

 

“Please, just let me see the se- see- the guy who does the string-searching!” His hands were fidgeting, and his obvious distress was apparent to Debra, whose eyes shone with doubt and sympathy.

“Sir, believe me, if I could I would let you into an appointment with Virgil”  — At this, Virgil paused, just outside in the corridor — “but he’s specifically asked for everyone who wishes to see him make an appointment beforehand.”

 

This seemed to cause the man more distress. 

 

“But my string is fading and… ugh… there’s no point, is there? You can't see it.” the man feebly dropped his hand from where he had raised it. Virgil noted the man’s almost completely correct statement - except the fact the string was almost completely transparent.

 

_ Don’t go. You don’t know what to say. _

 

_ You should go and say something. You could help him! And he’s gonna have the honour of being your first patient. _

 

_ Yeah, but I will mess up! I’ve not got anything planned. _

_ So what! What’s your job in the first place, Virge. You can’t have taken this job to have decided to not actually help anyone.  _

This time, the voice in his head spoke instead in his older sister’s voice. 

 

Despite half of his mind advising strongly against it, Virgil found himself walking back out into the entry hall, approaching Debra and the distressed man.

 

“Hi Debra,” Virgil forced a grin to his face as he drew to a stop next to the man. “You wouldn’t…  _ mind _ … if I suddenly had a one-off, uh, change of plans, right?” Virgil left the question open and inwardly cringed at how timid he sounded, even  to himself.

 

“Oh, Virgil, no, no, it’ll be fine if you feel like you’re up to it. That’s fine. Let me just write it in for you.”  Debra smiled, but her eyes looked uncertain, questioning Virgil non-verbally. Virgil met her gaze, lifting his shoulders a tiny bit before letting them drop, before letting a well-practised grin take its place.

 

“Ok, so, Sir, can I take your name and age and a few other admin stuff, but we’ll sort out anything else afterwards if that’s okay?” The receptionist nodded to Virgil as he started walking away. “I’ll send him to your room after all the admin stuff is done, Virge.”

 

Virgil sent a thumbs up behind him, and as soon as he was out of sight from the foyer he made a dash for Remy’s room, knowing that it would be empty. 

“REMY!” Virgil burst into the room with a surprising amount of flair. Any sign that Remy might have been shocked disappeared within a split second, and instead sat a composed therapist with feet up on his desk and a cup of coffee in hand. Oh, and a pissed face with mouth pinched at sides, as he brought his hand with his coffee to his sunglasses to pull them down his face to reveal a pair of deadpan eyes. 

“Ever heard of knocking?” 

 

“At this point, Remy, I don’t care! I have a patient! Someone has come to  _ me _ for help!”

 

“Well, congrats, hun, but why are you shouting it down my ear.”

 

“Because” — Virgil checked his imaginary watch — “I have, oh I don’t know, maybe 3 minutes, at  _ best _ , before he walks into my office!”

 

Remy still didn’t move from his seat but did sit forward, sensing the oncoming panic. “ _ Well, sweetie, _ what are you doing in my office! You can do this, you won’t mess up. Bitch, you don't need to be orthodox. Look at me and Emile, for example. We’re on the opposite fuckin’ spectrum. You’ll be fine. Now, go prepare by reading your briefing. If you need me, shoot me a message. Ok? Ok. Now, out, shoo, have fun sweetie!.”

 

As Virgil walked from the room, he steeled his nerves, seating himself and pulling up the briefing, scanning it over with quick eyes, finally trying to calm himself by cracking the joints in his neck and staring at his swinging sticks, eyes both focused on the movement but also unfocused from the outside world.

 

His body jolted with the knock that resounded on the door. One last time he let his hand comb through his purple hair. 

“Come in!” he called, rocking side to side in his computer chair. As the door opened and closed to reveal the stranger he met outside, Virgil tried to paste a welcoming grin on his face. “Please, sit.”

With a slight fidget, once he was sat, the man looked up at Virgil. 

“So, Patton Ortega, what seems to be your problem?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so,   
> 1: I'm sorry it's taken literally 3 months for me to update with a chapter barely 1400 words which I feel is too short  
> 2: This chapter was meant to be Patton's Dilemma as well but I knew I was never going to update- ever- if I kept that long so I may be splitting the planned chapters from now on to see if that will get me to write more.  
> 3: I've only read through this chapter once (and forgot that I had beta readers) so if you see a mistake just drop a comment!


End file.
